Messy Emotions & Merry Seasons Can Coexist

Beneath the mess and beyond the misses December edition~

Christmas is in every corner again, lights draped across streets, holiday songs humming through speakers, gift wrappers filling store shelves, excitement buzzing everywhere like electricity in frozen air. It’s that time of year when the world feels louder, brighter, more sparkly than usual. A season meant for warmth, laughter, reunions, full hearts, and full tables.

But if I’m being honest, my heart isn’t completely aligned with the celebration around me.

Part of me feels festive, ready to enjoy warm drinks, night markets, twinkling lights, and cozy evenings. But another part of me feels tired. There are emotions this season tends to highlight: the people I miss, the dreams that slipped away, the failures that still sting, and the quiet ache that sits somewhere behind the ribs. December doesn’t magically erase those things, it often magnifies them.

And for a long time, I thought feeling this way during the holidays made me ungrateful. Like I was doing Christmas wrong. Like joy had requirements, perfect family moments, perfect peace of mind, perfect circumstances. Like I needed to hide the messy parts of my heart to deserve the magic of the season.

But I’m learning something gentle and freeing:

Messy emotions and merry seasons can coexist.

We don’t have to choose between joy and heaviness. We’re allowed to hold both.

We can laugh in the morning and cry at night. We can enjoy the lights outside even if we’re still fixing the darkness inside. We can celebrate progress while acknowledging pain. We can feel thankful yet still wish some things were different. We can show up imperfectly and still be worthy of love, warmth, and belonging.

Christmas is not about perfection.

It never was.

It’s about hope arriving in the middle of brokenness.

Light entering darkness quietly, not violently.

A promise born in a manger, messy, unexpected, fragile.

Maybe the most honest way to enter December is not pretending everything is fine but allowing ourselves to be real. To be soft. To be human.

So, if your heart feels out of sync with the world’s celebration, it’s okay.

If you’re excited and exhausted at the same time, you’re not failing.

If you feel joy and sorrow sitting side by side, you’re not alone.

You can carry both.

Both the ache and the anticipation.

Both the mess and the magic.

Both the pain and the possibility.

And maybe that’s what makes this season meaningful:

Not that life is perfect, but that we keep going anyway.

That we keep choosing hope even when it’s quiet and small.

That we keep believing we deserve good days, even after so many missed attempts and messy chapters.

Christmas is in the air.

And so is healing.

Slow, quiet, gentle healing.

This December, I’m letting myself feel everything.

The weight and the wonder.

The struggle and the sparkle.

The ache and the awe.

Because beneath the mess and beyond the misses, I’m still here.

Still living, still trying, still becoming.

And maybe that’s the best gift I could ever unwrap. 

As December begins, I wish everyone a warm, gentle, and festive holiday season. May this month bring light, healing, and small joys to your heart. - MESSY E.

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