The Noise That Lets Me Be

It’s not always the quiet places that bring peace.

Sometimes, it’s a crowded food court on a Thursday afternoon where the buzz of conversations, the clatter of trays, and the sizzle from the kiosks create a kind of chaos that feels oddly safe.

I sit alone. Not lonely. Just alone.

I occupied one table all for myself, a pack of fries spilling out of its paper bag, a cold Coke Float already melting into swirls, and a burger wrapped neatly like a small comfort waiting to be unwrapped. Something was playing on my phone. I tried to focus, pretending I didn’t notice the world around me. But the noise, the movement, the everyday mess of strangers living their lives, it kept pulling my attention away. My eyes wandered, catching bits of life in motion: a group of friends deep in chatter and laughter, a couple sharing food I couldn't name, two middle-aged men in what looked like a friendly debate over work, and a small family circling a table, just trying to agree on what to have for dinner.

And then there’s me. Distracted but at ease. Unknown, and quietly grateful for it.

No one here knows what I’ve been through — the missteps, the heartbreaks, the good things that never lasted, or the silent battles that left me tired in ways I can’t always explain. No one here expects anything from me. No “be strong,” no “you always figure it out,” no reminders to keep going when I’d rather just pause.

This noise, it doesn’t ask for anything.

It just exists. Loud enough to hush the thoughts that never seem to stop. Busy enough to make me feel like I’m part of something, even when I’m sitting still.

There’s comfort in being unnoticed here. In having no part to play.

For once, I don’t have to be the fixer, the strong one, the person who pretends everything is under control. I’m just someone with a tray of food and a small corner to call mine for a while. And that feels like enough.

Maybe that’s what healing sometimes looks like —

Not the big declarations or the perfect new routines.

Just a moment in the middle of everything, where you remember you’re allowed to exist without explaining yourself. Where the world keeps moving, and you realize you don’t have to keep up.

Sometimes, the noise lets you be. And sometimes, that’s all the peace you need for now.

❁ ❁ ❁

missed, messed up, still here:

If you’ve been holding your breath lately — in silence, in expectation, in exhaustion — maybe today you can let the world’s noise do the breathing for you. No fixing, no proving. Just a small table, your favorite food, and a few borrowed minutes of peace in the middle of everything. - MESSY E.

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